Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Buy One For The Price Of Two And Get Another Absolutely Free!

"Are you tired of people giving you bananas? .. Mistaking you for a Chimp?? ... Thanks to all that under-arm hair?? Well here's our product that can get rid of that in only a year... ... or two... ... .. . Yeah thats right! We can get rid of that unsightly hair in a year, or your money,... ..... .... well, that stays with us, but we will, offer our apologies, and send you a nice note.... "

Similar idiotic things aren't rare on Indian TV... The commercials that come up keep going from bad to worse..! Complete irrelevant things are brought up in them.. Things that make no sense at all and things which have nothing to do with the product at all are added in the commercial..

It was tough to come up with the worst of the worst... considering nearly all the commercials fit the endless list that I'm trying to coming up with... I'm sure there are many more and even worse commercials out there, which I haven't added in this list (otherwise this list would never end...) but in-fact, the commercials are usually sooo stupid, that it's the stupidity that makes you keep in mind the name of the product! 

So here's a list I came up with..


THE TOP FIVE COMMERCIALS ON INDIAN TELEVISION THAT JUST DIDN'T MEET THE POINT -

Number 5 -


"Hair so strong, you can pull a truck with it.."
"This Just-In : The secret has been revealed about the people who made it to Guinness World Records for pulling vehicles using their hair... They test positive for using Garnier Fructis Long & Strong Shampoo.."


Yup! That's what I think they're trying to convey in this stupid commercial...

Link To This Dumb Commercial at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoV_xfvTViA



Earlier, when advertising the strength of hair they used to tug, pull, yank and jerk the hair and all.. This seems a little (and maybe a bit too much) of a giant step (literally) to show how strong hair can get..!
Gosh! Very soon they'll be making some hybrid chemicals which would be even resistant to scissors! How the hell would you cut hair then!?
Besides, next we'll be seeing her replacing the hook at the end of a crane....!


"Rapunzel, Rapunzel Let Down Your Hair..."
"..Be Careful It Might Just, Squash You Down There...!"

"Why do you think this shall go wrong?"
"..Because I happen to use Fructis, Long & Strong!"
.........
                                                                             

Number 4 -

Harpic Toilet Cleaner.. Does The Same Work That Pepsi or CocaCola Would Have Done...
Just, this is specifically meant for the toilet...
..and I wouldn't be surprised if Pepsi & Harpic have a collaboration.

I've not got really much to say about this commercial because this crosses beyond my stupidity too... I mostly hate this one because I was having lunch one afternoon, and just my luck... this commercial came flashing on the screen... Ever since, I've taken my mom's advice which is to not watch TV while eating...
Watch This Sick Commercial at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbsG_d2m7Ok
And yeah..! They might have gone quite far to search for some retard woman who talks to toilets.. Like shown above....

Well, all I can say is to hell with Harpic! 5 drops of Pepsi or Cola is all you need for better results!


Number 3 -

Chlormint Ka 'CHEENG GUM'

I'd prefer it if you first watched this commercial cause then this would make more sense.. - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYCI4Ya9YxE


Tourists step down in the middle of no-where because they see cows with 3 horns on them.. It gets weirder... The cows apparently seem to have an internal cooling system which apparently converts milk to fresh ice-cream...
We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin: Kwality Walls Ice-cream has just lost all its consumers to a bunch of cows...



Watch Cows With Internal Cooling Features at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYCI4Ya9YxE


 Faking News : Salman Khan accused for food poisoning. He has also been charged with intentional murder to tourists. More on how the cows seemed to be defying laws of science, physics, biology, scientology, oompa-loompa-logy and every other 'logy' you've heard of. Sources say the cows were hybrid species that have escaped from Area51 and again, Salman Khan as been accused for smuggling them.

Besides, this commercial clearly just proved that chewing on a chewing gum, indeed, does make you look like a cow..
And I bet they lost all their consumers after this commercial..! I mean, not everyone like to have frozen internals! Maybe some one tried this and was sh*tting out ice-cubes later on.....


Number 2 -

"Kya aapke toothpaste mei namak he?"
.... "HA HAI. DHANYA, MIRCH, HALDI, TAMATAR, PYAZ, ALOO BHI HAI....
BHEL BANA DE! .... "
O.o

Watch Lara Dutta get auditioned for Transformers at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nJw77ctzRA

What's next?  .. Having a full three-course meal while brushing your teeth!??! This kinda' reminds me of Willy Wonka's chewing gum...
Besides, this commercial is just too farfetched. (not that this is any different from others..) but it seems ridiculous that a camera crew and all are just waiting for someone to bite through something and go "ah!" so they can spring into action.. Like here at the counter they show Lara Dutta who the moment hearing the "ah!" transforms into this news reporter like lady.. And this happens too quick! Gee.. If I was there instead of this guy, I would be so startled by what just happened, I would have simply just let out a straight punch..!

"Ah!"
*transforms* (woosh)
"AAAHHH!!! WTF IS HAPPENING!?!"
*punch* (lights out)
..........

AND THE NUMBER ONE  -













(drum roll......)










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LOL

You've already guessed it...!!!
YEAH!! THE NUMBER ONE DUMB COMMERCIAL ON INDIAN TELEVISION IS THAT OF THE NIRMA  AD!!!
Watch The Laws Of Physics Being Defied at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkcbGGPQKB0

I dunno, this commercial just seems way over the top...! According to this commercial, Life DOES come with a stop motion feature.. (I meant 'motion' as time not the bowel movements..)
And Hell Yes! This girl too talks to water! Just like in the Harpic commercial...! Seems like Harpic and Nirma are going to collaborate...! (Oh wait, I think it's with Pepsi or Cola..)