Friday, 17 August 2012

College Hits Off!

So I'm in college!! Yeah!! Unbelievable right??! .. .
.. FYI... You're not the only one surprised..

But I kinda like it! :D Its barely been 2 weeks since college started though.. Lemme summarize everything...

Day One - I was told by the office authorities that the college would commence at 12:30pm and let off by 3 for this "Orientation Program" thingy. ... So I landed up in college at around 12:15 looking all puzzled and getting lost amongst a huge number of people.. .. Try Thirteen Thousand. Yes.... Thirteen Thousand!! 13K! Thats the amount of people in the college. In all fairness, the ground is occupied by 5 colleges so yeah naturally we've got a lot of people roaming around, bunking classes. Anyway, I go upto the Assembly hall where the "Orientation Program" was supposedly going to be held.. And its deserted. No chairs, lights - nothing. So I asked around for the Orientation Program and where it was being held... Turns out, it wasn't being held today.. And no soon date was fixed for it either.. And instead of that, I landed up, ON THE FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE. ...  .. The classes had begun today! At 7AM in the morning! While I was still comfortably curled up in my cozy bed, my classmates were attending Psychology.. So I walked upto the timetable board, and checked my watch .. "12:50" And then I look at the timetable and at 12:45 there's a Philosophy class. Room number 45. Till 1:30. I asked around for the room and in the process noticed the little ping pong game I became a part of. I'd go to one side of the college and ask, and they'd say its in the other side. I'd go to the other side, they'd say its on the opposite side's 2nd floor. I go to the opposite side's second floor, and they say its on the other side. Ping ponged for 20 full minutes until I got quite tired and went straight to the Principal's office - for the first time, at my own will. 
I stood in this long line he had there for 20 minutes *my Philosophy class gets over in 5 minutes* but I wait anyway... Finally, I managed to get into his cabin and explained that today was my first day and I was told to come at 12:30 by the office but now I can't even find my classes and I need some help in finding room number 45. Philosophy's class... . After hearing all I had to say and not uttering a word in the middle, he spoke up finally in a calm voice -
"I don't deal with the Arts students. You should try asking the principal present at the other side of the college"

But I don't have a choice either... I'd have to just go and see this very famous "other side of the college" to ask the Arts Principal.. .. .. So I walked... . Again. .. . From one corner to the other corner of the college.. But hey look on the bright side! I'm memorizing the college layout! So I managed to reach the Principal's office and there was a tiny note on a locked door.. "Principal will not be available for next 5 days .. .. ..



So I said To Hell With This!!! I'll find the next class.. ... ... Here we go again @.@ walking back to the "opposite side of the college"  where the TimeTable is put up.. .. ..

I take another look at my watch..  .. .. 2:00 .. Okay.
I take a look at the timetable... .. 1:35 to 2:10 - Logic. Room - "AHG"
And this was the last class for me...!
Oh great. I wasn't gonna go through all the trouble asking the officials about the room and not being able to atleast attend one lecture the entire day, so I just caught up a random passerby behind me and I asked him for the Room AHG. He its right behind me. Assembly Hall.. AHG. "Assembly Hall Gallery" which meant there was a lil staircase leading upward in the assembly hall somewhere. So I thanked him and went to search for this mystery staircase.

Praise The Lord!

And I walked up the stairs which such high expectations... Like a slight glow of white light was visible as I neared the top, .. like a rainbow effect was on the walls, like I could hear Chariots Of Fire playing as I walked up..

 And then I reached ....

 And I heard "Okay children! So I will see you again on Monday."



Kill Me Now

Well, that was the end of my day one in College. ..
Thank God I don't have to go through all that ever again...! Its the second week of college and I've made lots of new friends. I pick my friends wisely and I've got a good crowd..! Thing about our college I've noticed, - The Teachers Bunk More Than The Students!

Yeah! About 60% of the time, its the teachers who don't attend the classes for the lectures!
True Story.

Now lets talk about the flaws in our teachers. Chronologically, in order of the periods. First one's Psychology!

Psychology Teacher - Worst. Accent. Ever! xD She speaks broken English and instead of saying "Talk more and interact with me" she simply says - "Interact Me" .. .. which takes it to a whole different meaning.. 
Other than that, she also always stresses on the vowel "A" she'll pronounce it out like "AAEEEYY" Like for example, to give a split personality example she related to a movie. She asked us if we had seen the movie - "The Black Swaaaaaaaan" stress the AAEEEYYY.. sounds more like "The Black Swine". .. . .. . 
Oh ma'am! .. .. You're Racist. 

English Teacher - Oooh the irony - She walked in and introduced herself as - "Myself  Mrs. so and so". .. 

Myself.... Mrs... .. so and so ...

.. .. MYSELF.. .. Mrs...



Geography Teacher - There's not much to say about her except she pronounces Zero as "Jherro" ...
".. And the Jherro degree latitude is the equator!"
She also stated - "Uranus is one of the big gas giants" and my God what a better time to take a pause to breathe while talking .. Urr.. ..<inhale> . . Anus. is one of the big gas giants.

French Teacher - She's this teacher obsessed with technology and either has a grudge against it or is just too into it. For anything if she wants us to remember, "You people must store everything in your brain's CPU. You know CPU na? Yes. Save. No Delete. Keep everything in CPU. Then print out in examination."
.. And she's also obsessed with the sentence - "Rome wasn't built in a day" . If anything requires time, she'll say - "oh this takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day and so you can't expect to learn this so quickly"
"Don't worry about the pronunciation. Rome wasn't built in a day. You'll get it gradually."
Wonder what happens when she's talking to someone whose constipated. .. .
"It'll eventually pass. Rome wasn't built in a day. .. .Give your bowels time."

Philosophy Teacher - Boooorrriinnngggg... We're studying Indian Philosophy which in my opinion, Sucks. I can't wait to get to the American Philosophy part.. Since we're studying Indian philosophy for now, I'm really not paying much attention and it gets uninteresting.. So I'm not really knowing this teacher's flaws. xD

Logic Teacher - This one's my favorite.! I enjoy the subject thanks to the teacher. She's perfect in pronunciation  and her way of teaching! If all teachers were like her, I'd love studying.! So I really don't have anything to say as a flaw for this teacher too! :P :D

Well here's the long awaited end to this blog! I know this wasn't so much as great as compared to my other blogs below this one but I just thought I'd vent out my thoughts about my initial week in College!

Here's a few pics I clicked from around the college -
Click the pics to enlarge..

Most Irresistible Offer

Principal will WHAT the students? xD
yeah, guess who erased the "AD" from first line's "address"? ;D
and IDK who did all the others. xD

As you can tell by the next few images, this is a really old college. And they've not renovated or painted or did anything at all since it was built! 

I have nothing to say. This just looks weird.
A plant growing through a cement ceiling.

The 'O' of the 'NO' is really tiny,.. but it's there!

Some random chalk drawings ..
and METALLICAs Logo! xD


Saturday, 4 February 2012

You Never Really Learn To Swear Until You're Driving...

Traffic... Something here in India which forces you to see each and every bizarre kind of mode of transport - six wheelers, four wheelers, three wheelers, two wheelers, unicycles, go-karts, airplanes, horses, elephants, cows, goats, hotdogs, paper boats, flying magic carpets, Ron Weasley's flying car.. .... ... ...  ...
.. you get the idea.. ...
And this traffic never stops here... Literally.. Never! .. just until they reach their destination... *i.e, safely* Plus, traffic's egoistic... Everyone wants to go first.. Where there's a will there's a way?? .. .. You might wanna rephrase that... .. Here we go by "Where there's an empty space there's a way to squeeze the vehicle in.. "

Many challenges are faced by the Indian drivers... Such as to be looking out for the blind driver in the ambulance right behind your vehicle that's parked in the no parking zone while you're bribing the cop is one of them...

Driving in India is an Art...  If you survive Indian traffic, you might as just call yourself Invincible...

"We beg you to stop!" ..  
 Yours Sincerely , .. 
Thoroughly fed up, .. 
Traffic Signals -

Choose Your Preference

Well, now traffic lights are also confused.. When they show 'Red' we do 'Green' and when it's 'Green' well, ... we go anyway...   so now, it's showing all of them so you decide... but anyway, we've been doing that all along.. no biggie..
I guess all the drivers here are colorblind...
I think I got to know how people read the colors..

Red - Look up, down, left, right .. - don't see a cop? .. .. .. ... ..  Rev the engine.. God Speed junkie..
Yellow - Quickly! Make it before it turns red!
Green - o_O .. What does that mean now?!?! .. .. Oh fuh-get it! I'm getting late to water my dead plants.!

I don't know what goes through people's minds as they're seeing that big red dot in the sky ..! They just see it and go "Hey! Look at that woman's forehead! Its HUGE!!" ..! and they just keep going!

Craters ... aka ... Potholes - 

Challenge #2 - Dodge The Obstacle Course..
Planet Tatooine tries to stop Indian traffic after signals fail...
         Hurls pebbles at streets!        No Havoc Caused...
            People have remained as ignorant as always.. 

I guess since signals and/or speed-breakers aren't really capable of slowing down traffic, poor road construction to the rescue! Pot holes create a new obstacle course for the drivers, either injuring you to a stop or injuring you to a stop.. ... .. ..
Am I right or am I right? (Y/y)

Why go to the sea...? Fishing is possible just down the road.. .. .. On the road...
This Just-In: The fish market has lost all their costumers to a pothole..
Read more, on potholes rule dot com
potholes take over dot we don't know the domain!

Twisted Signs - 

Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.. 

Those who still live, shall be locked in a dark room and tortured heavily for three complete days... .... ...
By playing Rebecca Black's FRIDAY song over and over again on a
'what-it-would-seem-like-forever' loop...!   
                                         ...And FYI: That's worse than being prosecuted .. ...

Challenge #3 - Decipher the sign..
With so many open manholes, I guess this sign is appropriate... 

What does this sign mean in anyway?

Happy free-falling into one of the open manholes?!
Gravity loss?
Be careful of people walking below the street?!
Its Raining Men?
The world is really upside down!?
A spoof of The Beatles crossing the road?
Beware of your shadow while on zebra crossing?
Subway opening shortly?  .. .. The path not the eatery...

This notice board, unwittingly, is a great metaphor for the slow pace
at which infrastructure works generally progress in India.. 

No Rapper?? I guess this is why Eminem never showed up here in India?

Walking-Talking Vending Machines - 

Challenge #4 - Resist temptation to buy stuff you won't ever need...

If you're at a traffic signal and the traffic by chance, accidentally comes to a stop, hawkers and vendors will pop out from every nook and corner and try to sell you their shizz..
They'll try selling to you things you weren't even thinking about at the current moment!
And sometimes, you wont EVER think about buying at all!

You could be in your car and suddenly <knock! knock! knock!>
"You want cauliflower?" 

what! What? WHAT!?! 

When have you ever been sitting there and saying "man! I could really go for some cauliflower right now...!"

Find Your Way Through The Maze of TRAFFIC - 

Challenge #5 - Find a way out through zero visibility..
The only thing that's visible in the next 2 feet is the rear end of the vehicle ahead...

Well, here's a sight.. I think I should rephrase my earlier statement... Traffic does stop ... .. ... .. Dead stop.
There maybe a cow crossing the street up ahead...
And a cow will cross the street in India... You don't have to be out on the country side to see a cow.. You could be in the heart of the city during rush hour and see a cow crossing the street...
And the cows in India are skinny!! Why don't you think we guys eat beef much? It has nothing to do with religion!??! It has to do with common sense!!! There's No Beef - On The Cow!!  Ever seen two Indian guys talking like -

"Hey man! I really want a steak"
"From what?! THAT?! ... ... That's not a cow.. ... ..thats a swollen goat.."

Another thing in India, with so much traffic, you're not moving actually .. And on rush hour, you're not moving at all..   Lanes? what are you talking about? Here we have a system called "create a lane" ... .. If you see an open space, .. .. take it and go!

You'll be driving almost at the edge of the road..., and still someone would manage to squeeze themselves between your vehicle and the footpath you're just 5 feet close to.. And if there's some space on the footpath? ooh boy... .. I swear personal experience..

I was walking on this footpath down town, listening to some music on my iPod, and suddenly I hear a horn behind me.. At first I thought this must be some vehicle on the road.. (which seemed a perfectly normal judgement) but then on second thought I felt the horn was quite loud to be a little away from me on the road, and then I hear an engine.. I turn around and there's this guy on a two wheeler telling me to move.. as I move past allowing the very law abiding citizen to do his noble deed, he zoomed passed and in an annoying tone said out loud - "People aren't supposed to walk in the middle of the road"

...Seriously dude? o_O