Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Indian TV Serials And Their Unusual Ways Of Doing What They Do...


I was sitting one day in front of the TV, (like always)... flipping through channels (like always again)... and came to a pause on the channel Star Plus .. (my first biggest mistake).. and began to watch.. (my second biggest mistake)... and then as I was watching, I kind of felt like there was hardly any story to what was exactly happening.. Of-course these serials are going on even since before the Cold War began, but I tried to comprehend what was happening nevertheless... (and thus the torture began) ...
Even though till date I'm never able to understand head or tail of it, I managed to see some really retarded scenes...

It's astonishing the amount of tears an actor can get in the serials... Nearly every second scene has a person crying... I mean who the hell is sitting below chopping onions below them!? and if not onions, then what do they put anyway?! ... I think they lock them up in a room and play Rebecca Black's FRIDAY throughout the time... that's the only explanation to the amount of tears...

Secondly... What's up with having the camera man merry-go-round the actor at 100rpm?! In many of the scenes, the actor will be in the center and the camera will be circling the actor not less then 10 times before switching to circle the opposing actor... Well, they better have provided sick bags for the camera crew...

And not to mention, the most cutting edge technology in visual effects.... You'd see a  picture of the actor, turn red, green, pink, blue, and what not.., all flashing and giving a jumpy effect.... like the camera man's bouncing up and down.... they really have no motion sickness as I can tell.. If a 3D version were ever to be made of these scenes, people would be crawling their way out of the theater..., begging for mercy.. (that's not quite far from what I did after watching the show)...

And then having those 10 minute stills which have eye contact with the other characters and not blinking and standing like statues till the commercials come..... ...  What The Hell!? Are they trying to prove even a fly on their eye lash cant stop them from blinking!? I know! Show them the numbers of current MySpace visitors that should make them blink!

And now, their trademark 'Back From The Dead' scenes... These people don't seem to get enough out of one actor even after they work him to his death... Therefore, we bring him back! Yeah, never heard the phrase 'Man Plays God' like this...! They'd get the person killed some how, and bring him back to life..! No matter even if the guy was shot 20 times on either side of the body, burnt in a furnace and finally chopped to pieces and dumped in the sea... You'd think such a person would have already passed Saint Peter but no..! He's very much on set.... Ready to pop up in any scene in a complete suit and stunning looks... not a scratch visible.. Yea, he's got double the power than Chuck Norris...
And they'd give some heroic scene of how he escaped, wounded, bleeding, or how the love of his life kept calling him back and blah blah etc etc.... yea.. I got bored by then... So I switched the channel... .. .. (finally!) .. to Colors TV ... (WTF) .. .. .. and then, .....  .. .

                                                   ... ...... ... . .And then I passed out... .... ... ..